He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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