ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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