The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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