TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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