last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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