the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize