I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have post one night stand depression
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