i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am available for nakedness
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize