covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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