I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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