I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
