mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
