Pappa wants mamma naked
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
