are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize