It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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