Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
