Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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