I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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