But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
