There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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