and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
