My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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