In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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