And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
