PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
