so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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