My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
