I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
