do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
