you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
