dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
