Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
