wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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