he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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