I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
