you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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