I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
