Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
