Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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