we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
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Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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