Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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