You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
