you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
