dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
