I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
sex in a hospital.. check
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
