So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize