I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
