You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
