I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
