Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
