I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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