Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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