I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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