i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
