Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
