i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
