my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
