A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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