Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
