I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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