Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Michael Bay diarrhea
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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