Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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