Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
